Diaries of the PokeSues
by silver rosebud
Summary: Mary Sues annoy us all, so lets get them back!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own pokémon and (hopefully) no Mary-Sues!**

You've seen them terrorizing fanfiction forever…

They crop up in great numbers…

Authors are shunned because they didn't understand the consequences…

Trolls and flames will follow them forever…

The dreaded…

Horrifying…

Most ugly, cheesy, underdeveloped thing to ever pop up…

THE MARY SUE!

We all hate them…

We hate the fact that we can't stop them even more…

But there is one thing we can do…

…

…

…

ANNOY THE HECK OUT OF THEM BY READING THEIR DIARIES TO THE WORLD!

We will track down every one of them…

The Ultimate Sue

The Beauty Sue

The Tragic Sue

The Anti-Sue

The You Sue

And all the others…

AND GIVE THEM A TASTE OF PURE EMBARRASSMENT!

**Join the Revolution! **

**Ok, so I hate Mary-Sues a lot. So I am going to use this on a lot of different stories I will create. Okay?**

**Peace!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok so I will start with the Disclaimer**

**Disclaimer: *sigh* silver rosebud does not own pokémon. Instead she owns a jail cell for those Mary Sues.**

**So my first idea is an: Ultimate Sue. This happens when the Sue… ok, I will not explain it here but I will answer you through pm if you have questions about what they are**

**Ultimate Sue: 1****st**** entry**

Dear Diary

Today, I got my new pokémon! You see, me and my three friends went to Professor Oak's Lab to get new pokémon so we could start our journeys. I let them pick first, being the uber-nice girl that everyone loves. Then they ran out of starter pokémon! And I was all like OMG now I can't start my journey! But Professor Oak said that because I was so nice to everyone that he saved a super special pokémon just for me! Isn't that really nice of him?

And then he handed me a solid gold pokéball that had a ruby as a button and had 10 amethysts encrusted on the top. Hey, it's my 10th birthday and my birthstone is an amethyst **(1)**! OMG like he was so special about details like that!

Anyway, the pokéball was connected to a golden necklace so I wouldn't have to carry it around in my pockets. I put on the necklace and it fit perfectly **(2) **like everything I wear, but inside it was a Mew! Like OMG Mew is SOOOO CUUUUUTE!

Anyways, my friends weren't jealous of me getting the special pokéball necklace or a Mew because I totally deserved it for being super nice to everyone and for being so pretty with my purple-blue-red-orange-green-yellow-ish eyes and my perfect hourglass figure and beautiful blonde hair that is so thick and lovely and long and is so easy to take care of that I never have a bad hair day and the cutest nose and lovely nails and white teeth and feet that look good in every shoe and my creamy olive tan that looks perfect in every color and my skin is smooth and blemish free and thick dark eyelashes and lovely ears and the fact that I was the only D-cup in class**(3) **and that I was 5.4 at this age and that I could eat anything and still weigh only 73 pounds without much effort. **(4)**

So I thanked Professor Oak and got my stuff, including a silver pokedex with diamonds encrusted into the letters 'MS'. 'MS' for Mary Sue that is. And then I headed off after a super fun farewell party that the whole town of Pallet threw for me, and only me. Even Gary Oak and Ash Ketchum came, and they nearly fought over who got to sit next to the future champion. Isn't that sweet? I think Ash is cuter but I think Gary is very sweet when it comes to girls and I can't decide which one should be my future boyfriend!

So anyways, now I am way ahead of my friends, and almost to the next town where I can get a nice room for me and Mew-Mew to sleep in. I would have gone farther but the night was so clear and at such a nice temperature and no creepy bug pokémon and just a light breeze it seemed that the forest was just wanting a pretty girl like me to sleep on the ground under the stars that were shining bright. So here I am writing in this diary and eating some vegetables I brought along.

I probably won't have to sleep outside all the time, just when it is perfect like this. My parents are trillionaires and are making huge deposits into my bank account so that I have tons of money for my super fantastic journey. I probably won't have to sleep in a pokémon center either because every town has a hotel that my parents legally **(5) **own.

Anyways, I should get to sleep soon because I am very tired. Good night dear diary.

**Okay that is the start of it. Yes this is supposed to be a parody, so no flames about how I made her perfect *glares at trolls***

**1: Amethyst is for February**

**2: a perfect necklace doesn't choke you but doesn't go to your upper, if you are female, chest.**

**3: … see why I made this T rated?**

**4: *cough* *wheeze* *gasp* *hyperventilate***

**5: I so wanted to put quotation marks around that.**

**Also, tell me of Sues you want to see humiliated online so give me a name of the sue and a short description of the Sue. Review**


End file.
